おはよございました。おげんsきですか。わたしわクリオです。コロンビアだいがくのいちねんせがくせいです。コロンビアだいがくわきれいですがしずかです。クラシュのにほんごわいそがしいですがすてきです。わたしわにほんごがすこしわかります。わたしわルモメトとりょうのへやあります。わたしのルモメトわすきですがへやわとてもちいさいです。わたしわちっかのひこうきかいました。ろくがつここのかいきます。アメリカからときょうまできじょうきでひとりでいきますそしてときょうからおさかまでシンカンセンでいきます。あそこにちわとてもいそがしいです。ありがとうございました、じゃまたろくがつ。よろしくおねがいします。
クリオさん
１１がつ９にち
Hi, Clio. I'm Joseph. Nice to meet you. I am a graduate student and taking Japanese course at Columbia University. I was assigned to read what you wrote and post my comment on it. I think you wrote pretty well and I am surprised that your writing seems better than me when I first started my studies on Japanese language. I could not even write a word. But there seem to be some of slight mistakes on words. So I would like to correct some incorrect words. First, the particle that comes after subject is not わ, but は. For example, it would be right to say わたしは rather than わたしわ. And, in the second line, the sentence, コロンビアだいがくわきれいですがしずかです, needs to be changed into コロンビアだいがくはきれいでしずかです since きれい and しずか do not oppose to each other in meaning, so that you need to take out ですが. Also class should be written as クラス instead of クラシュ. In the third line, the sentence, わたしわルモメトとりょうのへやあります, was not clear to me to understand. Do you intend to say that you live with your roommate in the same room or your roommate has a room? If you want to say the former one, then, わたしはルームメイトとおなじへやですんでいます is the correct expression. If you meant the other, then, わたしのルームメイトのへやがあります would be right. So, it must be always confusing which particle should come after the subject. I'm sure you will be able to get used to it soon. Keep trying hard and good luck with your Japanese!
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